Reflecting on sexual education in Australia, a moderately scarring situation involving both condom and banana comes front of mind for many — hauntingly so.
Yet hopefully, not for too much longer.
Mooroopna’s Jess Douglas-Monks is on the path to reshaping how our youth are taught sexual education.
“So many people have minimal to no real sex education, or valuable sex education,“ she said.
“And what they have had has been really heteronormative sex-negative, basically don't get pregnant, that sex is for reproduction, puberty is getting you to the stage where you can reproduce — and that's all it is.
“So that's the narrative that I'm very keen to change.”
Currently completing a degree in psychology and on her way to a masters in sexology, Jess is looking at a five-year study path and while daunting, she said the region “desperately needs someone” in the field.
When searching for a sexologist in Greater Shepparton, Bendigo is the closest service available.
Even then, like many other medical systems, the wait lists are lengthy at best.
Jess started an Instagram page to share her journey to becoming a sexologist, to have a safe place to speak openly, comfortably and, her highest priority, without judgment.
She never expected it to flourish the way it did.
“It started to be something for me and it ended up sort of being something for other people, in a way,” she said.
“So many people around here just didn't have anyone to talk to, they didn't even want to talk to their friends.”
Amassing almost 2000 followers, Jess is smashing taboos with each post, sharing information about conditions such as dyspareunia, the workings of the vagina and her own vulnerabilities and struggles with body image.
Jess said while times were changing and the younger generations were generally more open talking about sexual health, at 36, she had seen a distinct pattern in people 30 and over.
“That's how much shame people have, especially around my age,” she said.
“They’ve grown up being shamed for talking about sex and pleasure and their body, they've been taught that that's not what you do, so it's understandable that they don't talk about it.
“But they still have questions, and they still want to know things.
“So that’s when the sex education part became really evident to me.”
A 2020 study showed more than half of the students who participated considered their sexual education as not being useful, and also reflected inconsistent teaching.
In Victoria, it’s mandatory for government schools to include sexual education within the curriculum; however, this responsibility can end up falling on teachers.
For many reasons, from teachers being uncomfortably themselves or simply not properly educated, the content taught changes from school to school.
As a result, comprehensive sexual education can quickly become the responsibility of parents.
“It's difficult because we can't expect sex ed to fall solely on parents or primary carers, because not all children are living with their parents,” she said.
Jess said some guardians wanted to have the conversations with their children, but were unsure how to go about it.
“They want to talk but they don’t have the language, they don’t have the understanding and they have a lot of shame surrounding talking about sex,” she said.
“So they want to do it but they don’t, so their child misses out, and the cycle just repeats.”
Within her study, she’s looked into the various options — or solutions — to providing adequate education to youth, from up-skilling one designated teacher per school to the outsourcing of an educator.
“I don't really care how it's done, just as long as it gets done and it gets done much better than it is at the moment,” she said.
“The education system has to provide some sort of base sex education, it needs to be inclusive of all genders and sexualities, it just needs to not be heteronormative anymore.
“Because if that's the message that kids are getting when they're getting taught sex ed — that it's just between a man and a woman, that it's only for procreation — it's going to be very, very confusing for LGBTQIA+ kids, and that can be really detrimental.”
Jess said her goal was to introduce sex-positive education that was inclusive, with topics of consent, self-pleasure and self-love.
And also, to break down stigma in everyday life where she can.
“I’ve always been happy to advocate for those sorts of things, because I just think if I can do it, then I should, because a lot of people feel they can't and that's fine,” she said.
“But people need a voice.”
Follow Jess at thebettersexedproject on Instagram.
∎ Caitlyn Grant and Megan Fisher are opening the conversation for young people on all things from mental health to success stories in their weekly column, Let’s Talk. If you or someone you know has a story, contact caitlyn.grant@mmg.com.au or megan.fisher@sheppnews.com.au