Leaning over his young lover Ina-Doris Warrick's body, Gregor Stewart knew she was dead.
The 25-year-old nurse was cold and grey as he touched her left arm. She was still wearing the mauve top and beige slacks he'd seen her wearing on Friday, two days earlier.
The anaesthetist didn't call for help, instead he turned and left the house. He returned again for a moment but then went home to his wife and children.
Dr Stewart went to work on Monday and Tuesday, working in operating theatres and expressed shock when police knocked on his door Tuesday night to tell him the nurse was dead.
Police believe Ms Warrick, 25 and recently widowed, was murdered in her Ringwood home on March 21, 1986.
Colin Graham, an orderly who previously worked with Ms Warrick is charged with her murder, but his lawyers say prosecutors haven't proven beyond reasonable doubt that another person - Dr Stewart - didn't do it.
Dr Stewart told Graham's trial in the Victorian Supreme Court on Wednesday that he did not kill Ms Warrick.
The then-married father-of-two described them as "two bodies with one soul".
He said he supported her and she trusted him - including as her anaesthetist when she had a hysterectomy four months before her death. Dr Stewart also prescribed her opiates post-surgery.
He admitted that was "maybe not totally correct". He also denied knowing of suggestions Ms Warrick had been let go from a nursing job because of an opiate addiction.
On the day she died, Dr Stewart helped Ms Warrick with housework and later met her for a coffee and shopping, parting ways after deciding to look at some paperwork she had on another day.
He said he went back to work then home to his family. But Mr Thomas grilled him over his decision to not drive 20 minutes from the hospital or his home on Friday night to see her.
Dr Stewart instead waited until Saturday morning to make a 90-minute return trip during his son's cricket match.
He said it wasn't an imposition and worth it for even just a few minutes with her.
He said hello to her neighbour but told the court he left without going inside when Ms Warrick didn't answer the door, believing her to be asleep after night shift.
He also didn't try to call her over the weekend, something he acknowledged police found suspicious.
Dr Stewart discovered Ms Warrick's body in her home on the Sunday night, but admitted in court he deliberately lied in two police interviews and a formal statement.
He said he saw her on her bed and knew she was dead but told the court he didn't know she had been murdered until police told him on the Tuesday.
Mr Thomas declared it "extraordinary" when Dr Stewart told the court he hadn't noticed Ms Warrick's body in a pool of blood from two stab wounds to her back, blood on her hands or a spray of blood on the bedroom wall.
Earlier he described his vision as having "funnelled down", despite Mr Thomas pointing out he had noticed other things about the room including open drawers and Ms Warrick's handbag.
"I can remember and still feel just an incredible distress feeling in my body, in my mind," Dr Stewart said.
He added that he would live with his shame for the rest of his life.
Prosecutor Robyn Harper asked Dr Stewart if he killed Ms Warrick.
"No I did not," he replied.