Growing up on a farm will always hold a grip on a certain part of your heart, as Annie Holt can attest.
As a child, farm life was all she had known.
But when she moved to Melbourne to attend Monash University, her world turned upside down.
This is the reality for many young adults who are moving their lives to the city to study at university.
But it begs the question of how they keep connected to their home town and country roots.
When Annie first moved to Melbourne, she felt overwhelmed, scared and alone. It was one of the biggest changes she had faced in her 18 years of life.
“It was hard at the start, particularly because I didn’t have any support networks,” Annie said.
“It felt lonely.”
The stark contrast between the slower, nature-based country life and the fast-paced concrete jungle is jarring. You feel it when you visit Melbourne for the day from Shepparton; it’s a completely different world. Despite these obvious changes, Annie was determined to make city life work for her.
“There are so many opportunities in a big city, and I was excited to meet people from all different places,” Annie said.
Her new Melbourne life suddenly became this exciting adventure ride she couldn’t get off. It felt like everything was at her fingertips. She no longer needed to travel three hours to watch the footy live, shop at Myer, see her favourite band, explore rooftop bars or see a beach. It was all suddenly there.
“There are just lots of young people doing different things in Melbourne, and the idea of that is exciting,” Annie said.
“There’s a sense that you can do things you weren’t previously doing.”
She has been studying in Melbourne for four years, and while she loves her city life, she is starting to feel a disconnect creep in.
There is a draining struggle in Annie’s head of two lives battling with each other. One is the thrilling city life, and the other is of family and farming work.
“When you grow up in a small town and on a farm, it becomes a large part of who you are, and I don’t think that leaves when you move to uni or move away from that town,” she said.
“It influences your values, sense of community, appreciation of nature and, for me, a sense of hard work and resilience in people around me.
“It is hard when you’re in the city and feel like you lack a bit of that connection from what you value at home, like farm work, being outdoors, family or even just slow living.”
The disconnection has come with getting older, too, as the fear of time with loved ones slipping away sits heavy in her heart.
To achieve the goal of studying in the city, there is a sacrifice that has to be made. Simple as that. The sacrifice is losing the time with your family you may once have had. It is a sacrifice so many of us make. To leave the nest at just 18 years old, as Annie did, is saying goodbye to waking up to your family members each day. The daily dinners at the table all together. The daily questions and grunted answers. Now, at 22, Annie is feeling that missed time.
“I definitely miss my family,” she said.
“When I think of my grandparents, although I have phone calls with them, it’s not the same as face-to-face communication and spending quality time with them.
“When I do come home, it is really nice to see them, but it’s also quite sad when I notice they’re having a harder time doing things than when I last came to visit and to see the changes in their health.”
Despite the lack of immediate family, the journey of leaving home for Melbourne has opened Annie’s world to a newly formed ‘family’ of friends.
“The nature of moving down to Melbourne as a student from a rural area, you often move in with people in a residential setting, and so they sort of become your family because you’re spending so much time with them,” she said.
“There is this understanding with people who make the move of the real importance of making those meaningful friendships because there’s this need to have a community in this new place where you have no-one.”
Her home has slowly become the people she is with, rather than solely restricted to a place on Earth.
So, the question of how to keep one’s connection to one’s home town while living in the city does not have a simple answer, and it never will. Annie is just one of many young people who face the internal battle of having a city life separate from the town and family she grew up with.
“Doing things I would have done when living at home is important, like cooking and sharing a meal with people, spending time outside and going to places where it feels natural rather than just constant built-up areas,” Annie said.
“But I do miss living in a small town and on a farm.
“I miss knowing lots of people and feeling connected to nature and the land and my family.”
There is no shame in leaving your home town to experience the world. But remember, the land you once stood on will always be there to welcome you back.
• Alice O’Brien is a Media Communication and Design student at Monash University, and is currently completing an internship with The News.