Shrek’s ‘noble steed’ once said: “You're so wrapped up in layers, onion boy, you’re afraid of your own feelings.”
Being a donkey, he would know all about feelings.
The personalities we’ve seen portrayed in books and animated shows aren’t far from a real-life donkey’s reality, according to Cobram donkey owner Jean Arnold.
Most of us would be familiar with the perpetually depressed Eeyore featured in A.A. Milne’s classic tale of Winnie the Pooh and big green ogre Shrek’s zany sidekick, Donkey, a chaotic and energetic donkey who comedian Eddie Murphy famously voiced in the movie franchise.
Both ends of the mood scale have been reached by Ms Arnold’s 16-month-old miniature donkeys, Pedro and Diego, in the year she has owned the short-statured equines.
Mostly, though, she says they’re very entertaining characters.
They have to be kept in a separate paddock from her ponies because their horseplay is a bit too rough for the gentler creatures.
“I have to look away when they’re playing sometimes,” Ms Arnold said.
“It looks like they’re going to snap a leg.”
At times one will grab the other by his cheek with his teeth and drag him around the pen in jest.
Ms Arnold says despite their similar appearance, the licorice-loving animals are quite different from horses.
In their paddock they will kick a giant ball from end to end, drag around water hoses and traffic cones and chase Penny the ginger rescue cat from their territory should she dare to enter.
“We’ve had cars pull up out the front just to watch them play,” Ms Arnold said.
But the sensitive fellas aren’t always clowning around.
“They’re just teenagers at the moment,” Ms Arnold said of her young sprightly pets that will likely live to around 30 years, but potentially 50.
“But donkeys are sensible compared to horses; they think things out.
“Donkeys bond. They always have to be in a pair.”
Their mates can be just that too, not necessarily a breeding partner, as evidenced by the two miniature males’ friendship.
Ms Arnold recently took Pedro to be gelded, so Diego had to go to the equine hospital with him to avoid causing him any distress.
When Pedro was anaesthetised and taken for his procedure, being out of sight was still too much for his best friend to bear.
Diego panicked and started throwing himself wildly into walls.
In the end, he too needed sedating.
Ms Arnold has a history of showing horses but always wanted donkeys.
“I stopped showing horses and finally got around to it,” Ms Arnold.
Together with a friend, Kylie Johnson, they decided to start hosting free morning teas for nursing home residents.
Ms Arnold spent $25,000 of her savings to set up a space with a large shelter at her property, on Cobram’s outskirts, to facilitate guests.
Twice a week the pair now welcome residents from Cobram’s two nursing homes and are open to sharing the therapeutic experience with other aged and all-abilities facilities and programs in the region.
The table full of homemade sweets, cold water and warm beverages is set up along Pedro and Diego’s fenceline and the donkeys always know when there’s food on it, so they join visitors closely throughout, hoping some watermelon or bread gets directed their way.
For special occasions, there’s often some added fun, like for Jimmy the riding pony’s 21st birthday, where there was carrot cake and party glasses and everyone sang him Happy Birthday.
They recently had a Mexican-themed morning tea where sombrero-wearing guests whacked a piñata and delightedly played pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey.
However, some elderly nursing home residents are sadly unable to make the trip out for the experience, so Ms Arnold has bought a three-year-old miniature horse that stands just 30 inches (76.2cm) tall she hopes to take right to their bedsides.
So far unnamed, the little male has even got special non-slip boots to help him navigate through the home without slipping on its polished floors.
Once upon a time, she did load Pedro and Diego on to a float for the job the new member of the fold will now fill.
“Donkeys are territorial,” Ms Arnold said.
“They’re really good at home, but not so good travelling.”
At one of their outings to Irvin House Aged Care, the donkeys met a priest who blessed them.
Afterwards, he invited them to participate in Palm Sunday at his church, where the hee-hawing local celebrities led the parade.
In addition to storybooks and animated films, donkeys feature heavily in holy stories, with the tale of the cross upon their backs fabled to exist because of the shadow the cross cast on to the little donkey that carried Jesus to Jerusalem, while he sat in front of Christ during his crucifixion.
“That’s why they’re known as Jerusalem donkeys,” Ms Arnold said of her purebred miniature and micro miniature donkeys.
With the self-funded registered business — which runs at a loss — being a fairly new venture for Ms Arnold, she’s hoping to attract sponsors to continue to grow the morning tea and visitation program for vulnerable community members.
She said she had been well supported by locals who had donated hay and helped erect structures, but ongoing costs would accumulate, such as the $180 fee for shoeing the three animals every six weeks.
They long for a happy journey with a happy ending like Donkey and Shrek’s fractured fairytale.
And if Joe Rogan was right when he once suggested a unicorn is a donkey from the future, Pedro and Diego have some magic years ahead of them.
∎ The Pedro and Diego Project can be found on Facebook.