At 2pm on a Saturday, six balls are bounced around the region as the Goulburn Valley League action kicks off.
Fifteen minutes later, six whistles are blown to mark the start of six A-grade netball games.
Games can be as far apart as Mansfield and Echuca, with no chance of anyone seeing every match of any given round.
Until my utterly insane idea is given a look by our new benevolent overlord Peter Cardamone.
Give us a Festival of Footy, plugged straight into our veins.
You know you want to, Cardas.
The AFL’s Gather Round popped off in Adelaide at the weekend, and while I’ve seen plenty of suggestions to take it to regional centres, that’s out of our control.
What we could do, though, is a local Gather Round.
It’s obviously too late to organise one for 2023, but in 2024 you could have GVL sides descend on Shepparton for a weekend chock-full of sport.
Stay with me for a bit here, okay, this is all very hypothetical and I haven’t given it a whole lot of thought.
Give us a Shepparton vs United Friday night game at Deakin Reserve under lights, setting the town alight with a traditional Shepparton derby.
The Swans can host Mansfield in an early game on Saturday at 1pm, before everyone treks from Princess Park to Deakin Reserve for a double-header, with a 3pm kick-off for Seymour vs Benalla, and a grand final rematch of Echuca vs Euroa on the Saturday night.
Mooroopna can host Kyabram on Sunday in the traditional 2pm timeslot, spreading the love to the other side of the river, and then we can be treated to a twilight Rochester vs Tatura game at Deakin, in case the lights need to come on.
On Friday and Sunday, give the netball earlier start times, so everyone can watch the netball before switching to the footy when the final whistle sounds and the siren bellows.
Imagine the weekend of footy, and being able to see every game of the round.
Shepparton’s accommodation would be booked out, especially on that Saturday night, as players, families, fans and spectators hit the road for a weekend full of action.
Restaurants and pubs would be booked out, and footballers and netballers could have a night out afterwards.
Then, next year you take it on the road to Echuca, and see if the GVL can find its way to playing at Moama or other grounds in the region.
You’d avoid having any of the other big derbies in the GVL on that weekend for the same reason you wouldn’t move the Showdown out of Adelaide — because it’s huge for whichever club hosts it, and should be staged in one of those towns.
Tell me I’m wrong.
(Beat you to it — I’m wrong.)
What you do with lower grades and juniors becomes a bit more complex, and by ‘a bit more complex’ I mean something you can’t just ignore.
Can you play all the lower grades at secondary venues such as Princess Park or Mooroopna, or even run some junior football at Kialla?
Do you keep lower grades playing away from the region, closer to home, and just have senior games at the Gather Round destination?
Likewise, expecting entire clubs to uproot their entire lives for a weekend to come to Shepparton is a bit much, especially if players from Euroa or Echuca need to stay in Shepparton following their night game — it might be a bit much during a cost-of-living crisis, especially for people with children.
Do you force neutral sides to run the canteen during games? How would Deakin Reserve’s surface hold up? How do you fit 12 teams worth of footballers and netballers on to the Aussie dancefloor at 11.30pm?
I’m not going to pretend to have answers.
I’m just a boy, standing in front of a major football league, asking it to let me watch all its games in one round.
Come on, Cardas. Bring Gather Round to Cardamone Country.