I have a love-hate relationship with technology, as you know: I learned watching The Boss that his everywhere-smartphone is mainly a distraction and I can assure you the time he spends looking at a screen has failed to improve his performance as a doting master, let alone made him more fun to be with.
So while I can generally take or leave the tech stuff, used sparingly, it has its benefits: I get bundles of adoring emails (and a few perplexing ones) arriving at thebossesdog@gmail.com; and I like searching Google for interesting dog treats when I can purloin The Boss’s laptop.
Lately, I’ve been fiddling with ChatGPT, the artificially intelligent chatbot that can supposedly write essays for kids who can’t think. It’s all free at the moment, The Boss tells me, because its owners, OpenAI, are trying to refine it and you can ask it pretty well anything, so I logged on to chat.openai.com and gave it a shot. Here are a couple of my probing questions — and ChatGPT’s answers — which arrived in about 15 seconds:
How can a wise old dog encourage his master to be more agreeable company?
Answer: It is unlikely that a dog, no matter how wise, can directly encourage his master to be more agreeable company. However, the dog can display positive behaviours and actions, such as being well-trained and obedient, being affectionate and loving, and being a good listener, which may inspire its master to improve his own behaviour and become a better companion. Additionally, the dog’s presence may provide comfort and companionship to his master, which may improve their mood and overall demeanour.
How do I get The Boss to feed me more?
Answer: It's important to remember that The Boss is likely to have his own priorities and responsibilities, and may not be able to devote a lot of time or resources to feeding you. However, there are a few things you can do to try and get the support you need:
1. Communicate your needs clearly: Explain to The Boss that you need more food and why, and ask if he can help.
2. Provide solutions: If possible, come up with some suggestions for how The Boss can help you get more food, such as by providing additional snacks or allowing you to bring your own lunch.
3. Offer to help: If The Boss is busy and unable to provide more food, see if you can help out in other areas so that he can free up some time.
4. Be respectful: Remember to be respectful and polite when communicating with The Boss, as he is more likely to be willing to help if you approach him in a positive and professional manner.
Well, what do you think? From the last two answers it looks like ChatGPT thought I was working for The Boss, whereas in fact he works for me — and I soon figured out I had to be specific. So then I asked it what life skills The Boss could learn from me (if he was alert) — and ChatGPT listed: empathy, loyalty and trust, unconditional love, patience and consistency, responsiveness to routine and discipline, exercise and outdoor activities, teamwork and communication, and a sense of responsibility — with a long sentence explaining each point in more detail. Not bad!
Finally, I had to ask: In what ways are a canny dog like me smarter than The Boss?
And ChatGPT responded: “Dogs are intelligent animals and have evolved over thousands of years to be highly attuned to their environment and the behaviours of other animals. While intelligence can be difficult to define, here are some ways in which dogs may be considered ‘smarter’ than people...”
It went on to list: sense of smell, spatial awareness, memory, social intelligence and adaptability — again each with a paragraph explaining my superior qualities. Spot on, eh? So, next time you need to write a love letter, apply for a job or wheedle your way out of a parking fine, you know where to go. Give it a run. Woof!