Is the measure of how much you enjoy a good feed how far you’re willing to travel for it? We’ve dined in unique establishments in faraway places in our time, but mostly, we’ve chosen them because we were in their vicinity primarily for other reasons.
I do recall being young, childless and living in Swan Hill some 20 years ago, however, and taking spontaneous 4.5-hour round road trips with friends all the way to the Junction Hotel in Ravenswood and back, purely for its succulent crocodile on creamy mash. That was long before that pub was destroyed by arson.
And the lengths we went to mollified slightly by the fact that when you live in Swan Hill, you do have to clock up the Ks to get anywhere. Like fuel for a car, we have to eat to keep going, so we could add a novel eating experience to an existing adventure if we got the opportunity to make it all the more exciting.
Bendigo, at 123km, isn’t far away from Shepparton. Unless, of course, your sole purpose for visiting is for food.
But how could we not get excited about one of Australia’s fastest-growing burger chains opening a venue there, in little old regional Victoria, when it doesn’t even have a Melbourne location in its portfolio yet?
We like burgers, we like shakes, we like quirky dishes, we like American hip-hop, and we (well, Mum) like unique cocktails. The uber-funky Milky Lane has got it all. I often cringe at the cost of a two-course meal with fancy drinks on the side for four humans and lament that if I were there with friends instead of my kids, I’d only have to pay for one head.
But that’s the (literal) price you pay for wanting to share all these cool little moments with your kids and genuinely enjoying doing so (except for the part when it comes to paying the bill).
How could I not want to present my little Kanye fan with a menu with a burger called Chic-Kanye on it? Or my tonsillitis-plagued son with a gigantic serving of loaded ice-cream called Fatman Scoop? Or my Biscoff-addicted 16-year-old with a dessert served straight out of the oven to him in a skillet at his table?
I ordered a deep-friend Golden Gaytime — not because I’m a huge fan of Golden Gaytimes, but because I am a huge fan of uncommon and daring dishes. And because I’m not going to travel 123km to eat a chicken parma and chocolate mousse. (Don’t come at me, parma-lovers.)
Besides already eating my week’s worth of calories in one meal, I could not resist ordering a lusciously creamy Bubble-o-Bill cocktail on the side.
That was just one of the many appealing drink selections, making it hard to choose between a Reese’s Peanut Butter Martini, a Hubba Bubba Spider or a Nerd Cocktail! All alcoholic cocktails could be turned into non-alcoholic mocktails, too, which is such a great service that I haven’t seen offered in too many places.
Everything about our experience at Milky Lane was perfect, and in the end, the bill didn’t even make me fall off my seat (that was probably the food coma). We did swing by the cinema to catch the newly released Five Nights at Freddy’s flick and popped into a couple of shops we don’t have in Shepparton.
But that was just because we were in the vicinity, primarily for other reasons. And this time, it was absolutely for food-related reasons.